Inpatient

17th November 2016

After a week, maybe ten days of no sleep, of tossing and turning and unable to eat, J went into hospital on Monday.

They put him om fluids and painkillers and Monday night he managed a little rest.
Tuesday a scan and a drain for the fluid in his stomach. He couldn't sleep, he was sore.
Wednesday high temperature and morphine.
And so on...

We are back in the hospital rhythm, and this time I am so grateful to have a car.
Yesterday he looked better, more hydrated and in less pain.

The house is so quiet and I miss him.

I can't let myself accept that one day these quiet days, this empty house, will be forever.
J's hospital stays are a little insight into what the future will feel like, only I won't be able to pick up the phone or bring him soup.

One day it really will be just me with no-one to tell me to get off the internet and go to bed.
Nobody to share my worries, my joys or successes.

Until then I will try to focus on him and on my gratitude that, for now, he is with me and he is mine.