Why write?

I'm writing because I love to write.
I'm writing because I finally got my wish for more time to write, only now I don't want it.

I'm writing because I'm lonely, and sad, and so heartsore that it takes my breath away.
I'm writing to give myself permission to feel joy.
I'm writing because I spend too much time with blinkers on avoiding my pain and writing helps me face it.
I'm writing because I miss him.

I'm writing because life is fast- we met at 19, had a child at 22, married at 24, had another child at 25 and he died at 31.
I'm writing to catch up.
I'm writing because the only time we truly have is now.

I'm writing because my life with him was beautiful and precious and I want to remember and celebrate it.
I'm writing because life is still beautiful.

I'm writing because it might just save my life.